I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
