His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
