Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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