i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
