the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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