obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
