Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
