yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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