I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
