At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
