so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
