I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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