If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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