Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
