Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
