Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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