Where did you get a picture of my penis
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
