Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You're like the curious george of whores
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
