You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
