am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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