So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
