I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
