I just saw a hot homeless man
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
