have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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