you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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