I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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