I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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