Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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