Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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