dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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