Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
thus making me awesome and them whores
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
