Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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