I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
His hands were made for my vagina.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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