i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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