i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
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