So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
