He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
