do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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