i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
