I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
