I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
40s are totally the cure
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
