is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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