I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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