dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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