Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
