do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
