i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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