You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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