That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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