"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
